A funny story from the winter of 2000. Its topic concerns my applying to the prestigious journalism program at Columbia University. Manhattan would have been nice. Let’s start with a letter.

“The Admissions Committee has completed its review of your application to the Graduate School of Journalism at Columbia. We regret to inform you that your request for admission has been denied.

We want to assure you that your application received a thorough reading by our Admissions Committee. As you know, competition for admission to the Journalism School is severe, and we found making decisions this year particularly difficult.

Many applicants not admitted to the Journalism School nonetheless make substantial contributions to journalism. In your case, the Committee felt that you needed a year or so more journalism experience before attempting to tackle our rigorous program.”

I would suggest that not admitting me was in fact easier than making toast. Days before my entrance exam to Columbia, my girlfriend broke up with me, leaving me in despair to swallow the general confusion as to how to go on living that comes with being on the receiving end of a breakup. So now you know my head wasn’t right. 

The first hints of my downfall came when the exam told me to trace the significance of the Constitution on a journalist’s ability to report. Or something. I started with a discussion of freedom of the press that I hoped was laid out in the Constitution. After a few paragraphs my mind went blank and I proceeded to write at the bottom of the page that “For the record, I am Canadian and not schooled in U.S. history or the ins and outs of your Constitution” and on to say that this has affected my ability to answer the question.

Satisfied, I proceed to the final part. It listed 10 names, directing me to choose six and state their impact on modern media. I recognized four right away and went to town, espousing on these fine individuals. The other two were winged. Later that night, pondering my lost relationship, something dropped in my stomach.

One of those four names I so confidently recognized was Matt Drudge. I expertly wove a short essay on the groundbreaking “Beavis and Butt-Head” that he created. How the show impacted culture and mass media consumption. How the cult MTV show turned into a media phenomenon. I can’t exactly recall how I explained its significance, but I know I nailed it.

Except that Mike Judge created Beavis and Butt-Head.  Far more relevant to the entrance exam would indeed have been Matt Drudge, creator of “The Drudge Report”, one of the first web-based journalism outlets to start reporting news before the mainstream media did. Including being the first to report on what later became the Monica Lewinsky scandal and the impeachment of a U.S. president.

I chose to talk about Beavis.

I can only hope the starchy shirts in Columbia had a nice chuckle.