The first “declaration” in my friend’s GPS Handbook indicates what is to come. Which is hilarity in the form of impossible English. Nobody could actually make this up.

1. The information hereof has been carefully checked to be accurate. However, the check would not exclude all the printing or translating mistakes. Please contact customer service if you find any of mistakes.

Honestly, their translator needs a raise. Absolute gold. None of this is made up. The best approach is to read it out loud and watch words clash together and explode.

2. Only use the battery and accessories the original manufacture provides, in order to avoid unanticipated damages. Once use the system not following the instruction or connect the device with incompatible components, the damages might even threaten your personal safety and should not be covered our warranty, for which the company hereof holds no liability.

3. For transport construction development, it possible appears the situation that the navigation electron map data with actual transport instruction incompletely consistent. It is your responsibility to place, secure and use this aids in such a manner that they will not cause accidents, personal injury or property damage.

4. Specifications are subject to change without notice. Any renewal or upgrade, please check on related website. We reserve the right of final interpretation of the user manual. (Oh no!)

5. Please keep a backup important data. Please note that the manufactures holds no liability for the data loss due to making no copy.

6. The pictures hereof are for your reference only. Please subject to the real products.

Stay with me here. This gets much, much more fun. Now we head to the other section, simply called “Attention.”

Store

a) Do not put this product under the scorching sun or more dust as to avoid damage.

b) To avoid falling from a height of the products or severe shock or impact.

c) Avoid liquid or foreign matter into the machine.

Clean

a) Do not use this product in a corrosive liquid, or else they would destroy the surface products.

b) Do not use dry not twist the wet cloth wipe products and its annex.

c) Be sure to disconnect the power supply and computer connections before the maintenance or cleaning products.

Battery

a) The first three times on this product rechargeable battery, charging light shows that the proposal for the extension of full charge after charge for a period of time, to ensure the best use of battery status.

b) Do not use this product into the fire, so as to avoid the battery explosion.

c) Do not demolish batteries with their own hands.

Use

a) In the process of driving looking for the product screen, might lead to serious traffic accidents. In order to avoid the accident occurred after stopping driving to operate the product. If the use of the system that lead to accidents or any other issue, the Company will live up to any responsibility.

b) re-use or upgrade GPS map, the need to re-enter password, Please save.

c) Use the product process, not the demolition of unauthorized products, otherwise the warranty period can not enjoy the warranty service.

Other

For air transport, when the passage through airport security checks, we recommend you to device and bag with X-ray Inspection System, to avoid the use of head detectors or magnetic bar testing, these devices are likely to host the data system was destroyed.

GPS navigation systems resulting loss of data, we are not responsible for that.

Just a taste of firebombed English for your reading pleasures.